Know your enemy

There's nothing like curling up with a good book before bedtime, right? For the past few weeks I've been reading two real page turners - Hodgkin Lymphoma - second edition and The Biology of Cancer. I've come away with three amazing facts.

1. FACT:  Hodgkin's is one of the rare cancers that have been conclusively linked to infection by a virus (at least in some patients). In fact in about 40-50% of those with similar case profiles to mine the tumors have DNA from the Epstein-Barr virus inside of them. This is the same virus that causes mononucleosis, which as every teenager knows is caused by kissing. After I get better I'm totally swearing off kissing teenagers.
2. FACT:  Brazilians lead the world in the incidence of penis cancer. I would take the Hodge over penis cancer.
3. FACT:  Almost all cancers are monoclonal. That means that every cell in the tumor descends from a single common ancestor. At any given time there are something like 10 trillion cells in your body happily going about their business and it only takes one of them to go all monkey face and then you get cancer. I want to take this opportunity to thank the 9,999,999,999,999 cells that are carrying around oxygen and fighting off bacteria and turning pints of beer into beer gut and moving numbers around in my brain. You guys are great, I wouldn't be where I am without you. To the 1 slacker cell who decided it would be fun to make unlimited copies of himself I want to say ha ha, I know you've done the biological equivalent of repeatedly photocopying your ass at the office Christmas party, and while we've all had a good laugh maybe it's time to sober up and call it a day. You're embarrassing yourself, plus you made my Mom cry.