Happy Cancer Christmas!

Hey everyone, it's my first cancer Christmas! If cancer can be beaten by overindulging in roast goose and Ferrero Rochers then I'll consider myself cured. No one told me cancer and I were exchanging gifts this year, and I got nothing for cancer but received peripheral neuropathy in return. It's nerve damage from chemo which manifests itself as a loss of sensation in your fingertips. I'm treating this as a kind of crappy superpower. If the door handle on your car is too cold to open, my invincible fingers can help. If you drop your car keys in your fireplace or something I'll come over and fish them out for you.  Misplaced your pincushion? Please, use my fingertips. They feel no pain.

This usually goes away after chemo but sometimes is permanent. I'll file this in the 'worry about it later' folder alongside global warming, my 2004 tax return and whether a local supernovae could create a wave of ionizing radiation that would sterilize the Earth of all life. Next up is cancer New Year's Eve which is probably going to be a lot like regular New Year's Eve but with added tumor.