Lymphoma's Greatest Hits

Today we're going to count down the top four all time great Lymphoma moments from television and film. Why not top five you ask? Because I could only think of four. But don't worry, it's going to be awesome!

Number 4: Party of Five

Here we see some serious overacting by Matthew Fox as he sits in the doctor's office and gets a diagnosis of Hodgkin's. I like the part when get gets all dizzy and his pupils dilate and the room starts spinning and there is a nice cut to his big, sad, watery, brown eye. Charlie, you need to wipe off those tears. I know it's tough that your parents died in a car crash and that you have to bring up Bailey, Julia, Claudia and Owen on your own, but don't worry - by the end of season four you'll totally beat this cancer thing and it will only make the bonds of your family stronger. What you should be really upset about is that after Fox cancelled Party of Five Neve Campbell and Jennifer Love Hewitt went on to make a shit ton of money in slasher films, but your forrays into Hollywood have been disasters. Speed Racer? Vantage Point? Eeeesh. That's the real tragedy here.

Number 3: Kindergarten Cop

Okay, this clip isn't exactly about lymphoma but it is about tumors. For any kid brought up in the 80's or 90's Arnold Schwarzanegger permanently ruined a serious discussion of cancerous growths. After watching this film it's pretty much impossible not to say 'tumor' in a thick Austrian accent. I think this should be made standard clinical terminology. "Mr. Sutherland - I'm afraid you have a number of large cancerous too-mahs in your chest" sounds a lot less scary to me.

Number 2: Curb your enthusiasm

The better Hodgkin's. Comedy genius, I must remember to use this. What's really great is that this clip totally references clip number 4 on our list. That's just like, so, meta. 

Number 1: Family Guy

Finally, Mayor West reveals the shocking truth about the cause of lymphoma. Now you all can understand why I have the Hodgkin's.