This blog post is brought to you by my friends, the drugs. Drugs are pretty great at making you feel better. Thank you Dexamethasone for your four daily tablets of love. Massive props go out to Omprezole, for taking care of the heartburn. Nuff respect also to Domperidone, or as I like to call it, "the champagne of anti-emetics". But the biggest shout out goes to Ondansetron, an anti sickness tablet that touches you right on your vagus and makes your medulla oblongata forget to tell you that you really need to projectile vomit.
How do pharmaceutical companies come up with these names you ask? From science? And why does my anti nausea pill sound like an eyeliner wearing, ennui-filled electro band from Shoreditch? These are good questions I spent much time contemplating while lying on the couch this week. As far as I can tell, this is how it must have gone down at the drug company:
Scientist: "We've discovered a powerful new anti sickness drug that will greatly improve the lives of lymphoma patients undergoing chemotherapy."
Marketing: "Great. We will make lots of money now. What is it called?"
Scientist: "(RS)-9-methyl-3-[(2-methyl-1H-imidazol-1-yl)methyl]-2,3-dihydro-1H-carbazol-4(9H)-one"
Marketing: "Needs a catchier name. What is the target market for cancer these days?"
Scientist: "Hodgkin's lymphoma often strikes young adults, between the ages of 18-35."
Marketing: "Perfect. The kids these days are into dance music. We'll called it Ondance."
Scientist: "I think dance is spelled with an 's'. Also, if you add tron to the end we can tap into that 80's retro movie vibe."
Marketing: "Killer."
Also, thanks Annie for designing Ondansetron's debut album cover. I think they're playing at 333 mother next weekend?
ReplyDelete